Lily has almost been home a month and I cannot believe how well things are going. Before we went to China, we read books, watched videos, talked with friends and social workers about what to expect during our first few weeks home. We were told that at first we might not love her like we love our other kids, that it would feel like we are babysitting, that she might reject us at first and a whole lot of not so warm and fuzzy. All of that is normal. Very normal and very expected. We were prepared to work hard to get through these issues and expected that someday things would get easier for all of us.
I almost feel guilty saying this because I know not everyone experiences this, but as it turns out, we fell in love with her immediately. We LOVE this child so much. You know that love you feel when you give birth? That is how we both feel about Lily. There is no faking it. We don't feel like her babysitters, it does not feel like she doesn't belong or that she is "new." She's ours. There is no question about it.
Of course, I cannot speak for her feelings. She has experienced great loss and her world has been turned upside down. I know we have not seen the real Lily Shu Xing (as she refers to herself). I do not claim that she loves us as much as we love her, and that is okay. She has only known us a month. We snuggle and play and tickle and giggle. She comes to us for comfort, looks to us for approval, and really seems to enjoy our company and the company of her siblings. She loves to sing a little song she made up "Mama, Baba, Lily Shu Xing, Benjamin, Madelyn, Nicholas, Kayla"
I'm terrible about taking photos but I promise to make an effort to use
my camera more often. We did remember to take some photos of Ben's
party yesterday at a local park.
A Little Glimpse of Our Normal
1 year ago